i’m just over it. friday night my aunt and uncle came over. it was weird and draining. we never watched tv, we just listened to my uncle talk forever about his trip, the pictures then political shit lol. i was like okay well thats all fine and great but wtf is your point to which he replied that while he’d rather get a bunch of (redacted) and go to D.C. and (redacted).
Saturday, we went to my aunts place, his sister, and helped her clean and maintain her fkg home? lmao. then her son and granddaughter came over and it was painfully dumb. i finished the yard, mowing and cleaning up the rotted stupid pool. omg. it was exhausting. hearing these people talk about my grandma and say the shit that i say, just reinforces that i should never ever have done this. i dont know, i was in a great flow in life, just going where i went next.
its crazy. we are all the same thing, represent the same exact object and purpose for my grandma. its just unbelievable. then when im here with her and she treats me like a male, like a slave or butler, so cringe. like no im good im not doing shit for you anymore. you’re lazy and entitled, two faced and manipulative. she puts zero effort towards anything wholesome or good for everyone, she is driven by a dopamine cortisol addiction, its so obvious.
when my OTHER aunt and uncle came over yesterday afternoon, she bitched and complained about shit she did, then tried to imply it was somehow my fault without actually saying it. like who the fck else is here- UGH! right in front of me. its great to know though that all these people feel the same way and know her bs. too bad they arent cool or interesting and that we will never have a relationship. they arent worth a shit anyway so who cares.
im done with this situation. i need to get this garden situation under control then be done with all of this. i dont even want to be around anymore after i leave. to anyone. my uncles wife is the only person that invites me to hang out and thats because she has no friends and everyone hates her, even her husband lol. its unbearable to be around her. she invited me for a dog walk yesterday. i was desperate to get away from here but i made an excuse at the last minute. my grandmother doesnt ever do shit except chainsmoke, gossip and watch tv so the busy few days had her exhausted and probably her body was reacting to suddenly doing stuff and she had some numbness in her feet, then freaked out.
i think it was my outfit to be honest lmao. i was working outside and she made breakfast then when i came in she was having some panic attack or something, i dont fucking know. she blamed me, twice, once covertly in front of my aunt and uncle then to my face later. ugh god shes unbearable, i need to get away from her and never ever look back towards these people. i am done. done done done and i will never go back. she can kiss my ass, im tired of giving her stuff, giving her money, doing things for her and now i dont even want to be near her. her true colors are out, everywhere, and i cant stand seeing it. i dont wish her ill, and i would like her last days at the least to be without me in her life lol. im done caring about her happiness. i have been being victimized by her for the last 20 years and goddamn what a waste of time.
whatthe 