this situation is expired. i have total clarity and there is no going back, ever. yesterday evening i felt some kind of guilt, which is part of being raised in this dynamic, coming from her, and my family, and needs to be acknowledged but only to be aware of its discard, for my own sake to know about myself. my creepy aunt came over and i was distressed that marilyn had called her on purpose, but then i gathered my nuts and went downstairs. she just wanted to boast her little gay tattoo she got ( lol) and i realized she was just wanting to hang with me. shes disgusting and toxic but it was “interesting” how jealous and catty marilyn is. she was so jealous, like fighting for pam’s attention and silently raging when her and i would laugh and bond. what a clown.
im having a small explosion of joy in my heart, thank you fucking christ. i need to be myself. this woman is trying to crush me and disappate my good qualities to neutralize the threat to her fragile ego and wavering confidence. the best thing for everyone, the best thing for the universe is to BE RAD. be happy, fun and nice. grateful and just. she can fuck herself, she can evict me if she wants and do whatever she thinks she has to do, she has no one. she has nothing. shes a liar and manipulator and i need to have all the evidence together because its responsible for me to do that.
its so sad having to dismantle the garden area, but it’s worse to keep going at it here. i know she’s watching me like a bitter jealous raging nincompoop anytime i do anything, because that’s how she is. shes a cvnt. so guess what? im the opposite and im disengaging, i wont provide her with supply any longer and im not cowering to her shit.
good on me for doing what’s right, as much as i possibly can, always. i have a lot to be proud of myself for.
i also used the ultimate weapon against her, when she was going through her bitch list, inverting things i had told her confidence, degrading me in a big ass no no so i brought up aunt avis.
i think im going to make an aunt avis tshirt and wear it around. what a saint she was, god damn. marilyn, you are a live and breathing demon, benign and scowling in your old age.
there is no level this woman wont attempt. and she’s got herself at checkmate having me here. im not playing around with life anymore, and im not sacrificing myself for her for another second. f that.
whatthe 